I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
As shirtless as possible
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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