This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
