I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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