yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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