they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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