dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
She tied me up with her honor cords...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
