wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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