wrigley field is MILF paradise
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
