Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Randomize