Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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