Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
The ass gains better be worth it
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