Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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