she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
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