Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
