well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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