i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize