About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Randomize
