What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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