i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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