2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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