Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
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him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
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I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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