Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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