And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
