My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize