I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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