I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
