Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
