I feel like abortions should bother me more
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
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