when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
