if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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