i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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