i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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