Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
