he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
