You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
