you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
