Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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