i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
