Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
