Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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