u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
