She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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