Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
