you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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