Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize