look no pants
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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