I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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