Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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