What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
