I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
