Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
