tell your sister to shave her snatch
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
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