I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
