I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
