if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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