singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
