I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
