Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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