I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
