Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
